Chelsea Handler, comedienne and E! Host, graces Playboy’s December 2009 cover. In the accompanying article she dishes out topics such as holiday cooking, inter-office hookups, and why she prefers keeping her holidays secular.

Handler says, if you drink to the point that hooking up with a co-worker seems to be a good idea, try to at least do that somewhere that’s a bit less public, may a car or something. If you are about to make a mistake that tomorrow you’re going to regret, you might as well at least do it somewhere that’s classy.

Recently Handler broke up with Ted Harbert, E! Boss.

Handler also told Playboy she prefers keeping her holidays secular.

It’s time we took Christmas back for those who really don’t like hearing about shepherds and angels and babies that have glowing heads. Besides when Jesus started to date Madonna, I stopped taking him seriously. Secular holiday parties are happy holiday parties. If you do it right, Christmas is a celebration with your family and friends having a great time, then throw in a small sprinkle of porn.

When asked what her ideal holiday meal was, Handler replied that she loved big holiday meals with her friends. I’m the kind of girl that likes meat and potatoes. What I like are mashed potatoes, baked hams, a huge turkey that’s stuffed with extra tryptophan and Vicodin, the old standards.

Playboy’s December 2009 issue hit the newsstands Friday, November 13.

Chelsea Handler’s father must be very proud of her.

The December cover girl for Playboy got set up tonight to make her big revelation on The Jay Leno Show. She joked around with Leno that her Dad would love the news since he thinks that I am quite sexual.

Leno then surprised Chelsea by bringing out a bigger than life copy of Handler’s Playboy cover that features the host of Chelsea Lately, who for a day or two quit drinking to get into shape. She is standing in fake snow and clad in a white bikini that was barely there along with cushy tall boots.

However Handler declined when Jay, who was worked up slightly, asked her to pose in similar fashion for his viewers.

Handler joked, we need the airbrush guy here.

More of Chelsea can be seen in December’s issue of Playboy.

One of the final bastions for American male media power, the television late night talk show, has truly been breached. A 34 year old foul mouthed, sassy blonde has been taking on some of the late night television stalwarts like David Letterman and Jay Leno, winning over viewers with a diet rich in celebrity gossip that has been marinated in aspic and Handler’s acerbic wit.

Chelsea Lately, the celebrity skewering, irreverent late night show of Handler’s had steadily been climbing up the ratings since the show first came on the air almost two years ago on the small cable network E! Entertainment Television. Although the 600,000 nightly viewers are at this point just a fraction of what Letterman and Leno garner, she attracts a predominantly female and much younger audience which makes her a favorite of advertisers. This has caused E! to commit to broadcasting Handler’s show through 2012.

The show Chelsea Lately is a concoction of cleverly pitched celebrity gossip of mainly D and C list celebrities like the Olsen twins, Kim Kardashian, Tori Spelling and Paris Hilton, overlaid with the acid tongued disembowelment Handler does on them. W Magazine called the show “ironic deconstructing of everything passing today for celebrity.” When the news surfaced that the cyclist Lance Armstrong was dating the rail thin Ashely Olsen, Handler quipped, this must be serious. Lance gave Ashely a Livestrong bracelet, She uses it as a belt.

There is a powerful frisson on Chelsea Lately from an unsettling combination due to Handler’s classic all American, blonde, blue eyed good looks, Chelsea was a beauty pageant finalist for Miss New Jersey and turned an offer down to appear nude in Playboy, along with her sharp tongue and focus on alcohol, sex as well as her breasts which are prominently displayed. When asked what Handler thought of competing versus the likes of Letterman and Leno, Chelsea answered with, I’ve got two extremely meaty breasts. I won’t let them hold me back.

Heather McDonald, a comedian who appears on Handler’s show quite often said, she is king of hot, drunk blondes. All this time they have been wandering the earth without a leader. That is until Chelsea came onto the scene with her sassy attitude, hair and boobs.

Handler’s show only veers slightly from late night talk show rigid templates. Just like Leno and Letterman, Handler opens her show with a short comic monologue and then settles into a three guest panel discussion about the day’s pressing celebrity issues. In the show’s final segment rapid fire interviews with the lesser celebrities needing some publicity enough to subject themselves to the provocative style of Handler’s.

Maybe the strangest aspect of the show is Handler’s sidekick, Chuy Bravo, a diminutive Mexican who also doubles as the personal assistant for Chelsea. Handler jokes that the path to stardom in Hollywood for Chuy was very arduous and long, mostly because it takes Chuy twice as long as most people to get anywhere.

Chelsea Lately’s success has also given a boost to other career outlets for Handler. She is a stand up comedian as well and has performed at Carnegie Hall in New York to sell out crowds. She is also an author of two best selling books. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands, is the memoir of her dating life fueled by alcohol. Her second book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, is an essay collection that has been adapted recently for a television series.

In her comedy act and books, Handler riffs about her existential confusion. The youngest of six kids, she was raised in an upper middle class Jewish New Jersey household by her Jewish father and Mormon mother. When Chelsea was 19 she went to Hollywood. However she quickly gave up on that after realizing how demeaning and humiliating auditions were. You have to read the lines of other people, Handler says.

Despite the fact that Handler has a hit show, clearly she has bigger ambitions and chafes obviously at how ludicrous and vacuous the material is that she gets paid for. Handler said recently, in a few years I’m sure I will want to move on to do something more high brow. When it comes to celebrity there’s only so much to say.

Do you think it’s safe saying Chelsea Handler, the comedienne, has hit the big time? Handler’s first two books “Are You There, Vodka” and “My Horizontal Life” still are on the best seller’s list of the New York Times. In addition to that, Chelsea is the host and executive producer for “Chelsea Lately,” an E! network talk show, and recently established a production company called Borderline Amazing Productions with partner Tom Burnelle.

With that all in mind it probably is safe saying Handler officially has made the big time, particularly with her two books still listed on the best seller list of the New York Times. “My Horizontal Life,” is at No. 6 despite the fact is was published in 2005. Her recent book “Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea” is No. 13.

Handler said that she never thought she would be on the best seller list of the New York Times. I thought maybe the second book might make it because of my show. But both of them still being on the list there is silly and absurd.

It makes me seem a bit more legitimate and definitely does make me happy, said Handler. “My Horizontal Life,” was purchased by a book agent based on just five chapter that were written by Handler in only three days.

Chelsea Handler, late night host for E! Entertainment, has landed a lucrative deal with Comcast Entertainment Group, the parent of E!. It will keep her with the cable company for three more years at least.

It’s been said the deal is worth up to eight figures, meaning Handler will continue being the executive producer and host of her show “Chelsea Lately” at least through 2012.

Handler will also be producing a series for the stable of nets owned by Comcast, including the FearNet on-demand service, Style and G4. She will be producing through her new production company called Borderline Amazing Productions. As part of the deal, Comcast Entertainment Group will have first look rights for any projects coming from Borderline Amazing Productions through the year 2012.

Handler is running her production company with Tom Brunelle, head writer of “Chelsea Lately.” He will also continue to be the host’s executive producer.

Currently Handler is dating Ted Harbert, prexy CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group. Lisa Berger, the executive Vice President for E! series development and original programming announced Handler’s deal.

Berger said that “Chelsea Lately” is definitely a breakout hit. It’s significantly outgrown the late night audience for E!, especially with young women.

The “Chelsea Lately” talk show made its debut in July 2007. When the network moved the show up into the 11 pm time slot, they saw immediate gains in the rating. The talk show is averaging 746,000 viewers. That’s a 31% increase from last year for that time slot.

According to E!, Handler gets more 18-34 women viewers than “Last Call With Carson Daly,” “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson,” or “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

In another development for Handler, Sony Pictures TV currently is adapting “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea, her latest book. The executive producer for the project is Barry Sonnenfeld.

Both of Handler’s books have been on the best sellers list of the New York Times for months.

The credits of Handler’s include “In The Motherhood” (due to commitments for E! she won’t be appearing in the upcoming TV version on ABC), as well as “Girls Behaving Badly,” an Oxygen show.

Handler’s new deal means two of the biggest E! Stars are locked in now for several years. Last year a deal was was sealed between Ryan Seacrest and Comcast, keeping him with the cabler through 2012 as well.

Chelsea Handler is the master of stone faced sarcasm and dry wit. She will toss a humorous quip out, disguise it as the truth, then wait until you start laughing before
confessing to the joke. Chelsea doesn’t beg forgiveness or waver over her remarks. She doesn’t need to. Chelsea is able to segue through her comedic bits, confident and knowing who she is. She doesn’t particularly care whether you do or not.

Chelsea Handler is a Jewish girl that is high spirited with a good heart. She grew up in suburban New Jersey before moving to Los Angeles in search of adventure and having vague hopes of having a career in show business. She ended up with both of those things in spades.

E! Network fans got their first look at Chelsea Handler when she appeared on the “101 Series” on E! (for example “101 Best Celebrity Makeovers” and “101 Worst Celebrity Breakups”), where she would always offer ironic and delicious comments on any celebrity scandal that anyone would ask her about. When you do ask Chelsea Handler what her opinion is you need to take some deep breaths. Nine out of ten times she will knock you off balance.

With Chelsea Lately, her talk show, Chelsea Handler is now in top form. She can combine her improvisation talents along with politically incorrect comedy and telling
the truth the way nobody else can.

PR.com: I was watching In The Motherhood, your online series with Leah Remini and Jenny McCarthy on MSN.com. I just happened to find it, so I watched three of episodes in a row. They were so hilarious! Can you tell us how the online came about?

Chelsea Handler: Last year I did our first season. Leah called to ask me if I would like to play in the role of a mother along with her. Of course, I said. It was a lot
of fun. This year Jenny McCarthy was added to the cast. All three of us have been having a great time. The work is really easy. I just put aside a few weekends to do it. For young moms it’s great, or any mom.

PR.com: From doing the show, what are your thoughts on motherhood?

Chelsea Handler: I think that my tubes just tied themselves up.

PR.com: Yes, it’s kind of scary.

Chelsea Handler: I really don’t think I will be having babies after this.

PR.com: For Chelsea Lately, your E! show, when do you shoot each episode? Are each evening’s shows shot that afternoon or more in advance than that?

Chelsea Handler: yes, every day we shoot at about 3:30. Then they air at night.

PR.com: Are you relieved about the writer’s strike being over?

Chelsea Handler: well the strike didn’t affect our show because it’s non-union. We were fine. Of course, yeah, I am happy the strike has ended so all those people have jobs again.

PR.com: For talk shows such as yours or other late night talk shows, why are writers so important even though a comedian is there? For example, you’re a comedienne. You are used to performing your own material. So wouldn’t the talk show format be a great place for writing your own material and performing it?

Chelsea Handler: well our show’s set up somewhat differently than those other shows. On my part it’s a lot more improvisational. Obviously in an interview you don’t know ahead of time what somebody will say. Then with the round table discussions other people are involved. It’s not only me. The job is more of a writer and producer. All of us come together every morning. We discuss what topics we are going to be talking about. We go over who got arrested, who got DUIs, who did this, if it’s something even worth talking about. Like when someone is going to rehab for their first time, then I don’t think that’s something that should be laughed about. If it’s their third time, absolutely then. Let’s start to make fun of them. So that’s our policy kind of. It’s not that a lot is written while we’re in the room there. It’s more based on ideas. The field pieces we do have more writing that is involved and are brainstormed. Like if Chuy and I are going skydiving or trampolining. Since the show is so fast and short, it’s really more of me coming up with ideas by myself. Those other shows (i.e. Tonight Show) are different due to their long monologues. It takes lots of people to be able to fill that type of space up.

PR.com: How did you find your assistant Chuy? He isn’t exactly a conventional looking sidekick for a talk show.

Chelsea Handler: I found him at ChocolateSingles.com. Yes, that’s where I found him.

PR.com: Seriously?

Chelsea Handler: (laughing) No.

PR.com: Well in the first book of yours you did mention that website.

Chelsea Handler: Yeah, I know. That’s one thing that is a favorite of mine to mention. For the first show of mine, I needed to hire an assistant. I said get a little person for me. I love the little people. They brought in Chuy to do an interview series along with a whole group of other people for being potential
assistants for me. Obviously, I loved him. On the spot I hired him. Especially when I found out he can’t spell or add. I usually look for that in an assistant for me.

PR.com: what’s this little people fetish of yours all about?

Chelsea Handler: I just think that they’re really cute. But I like fat one. Not skinny ones. They are like oompa loompas I think. I just love them.

PR.com: Does Chuy know about the joke? That part of what’s so funny is that fact that he is your sidekick? Is he in on it?

Chelsea Handler: Yeah, he definitely gets it. Every day when I molest Chuy he gets it.

PR:com: Tabloid journalism, let’s talk about that. I know you read the tabloids just the way I do. You need to see what’s happening for your show. Now I do buy the US Weekly. It is beginning to bug me though, a little bit now that things seem to be getting so completely out of hand with TMZ.com and sites like that. What are your thoughts on tabloid journalism and the paparazzi, the ethics of it all?

Chelsea Handler: It’s pretty bad I think. It’s disgusting kind of. However, the only way for me to do my show while still having a sense of humor towards it is knowing we make fun of all the things that everybody takes so seriously, you know. If we aren’t able to laugh at ourselves over all the attention being paid to the celebrities, what goes on every day, we really will then be in a very bad state of affairs. Just walking down the aisle at the supermarket there are fifteen magazines to buy. It’s gross, really. It’s mind pollution. That’s the biggest thing when I was starting to do the show. When they said they wanted a show for five nights every week that was timely on all the entertainment news. So I said I could do that, but only if I was able to make fun of all the things we care about so much. It’s so stupid. They said, yeah absolutely. They thought it was a really great take on things. So many shows you watch they seriously report Lindsay Lohan shaving her legs today.

PR.com: I’m not sure if anyone’s made this connection. I’m not sure what you’ll think of it. But after 9/11 didn’t the tabloid culture grow ten fold?

Chelsea Handler: Oh yes, absolutely. That’s right.

PR.com: I thought maybe it was some kind of escapism everyone was craving after that happened. Before 9/11 happened there was always The Enquirer and Star Magazine. Then after 9/11 happened US Weekly became a tabloid. Then other ones started to pop. Things just started to get out of control. There’s a connection, I think.

Chelsea Handler: Yeah, I’ve heard things like that before. That’s absolutely right I think. When there’s a national tragedy is when people feel like burying their heads in the sand. No one wants to think about things. People can only take so much. Like the elections. There is only so much you can really listen to with all that red tape. And it goes on forever. When 9/11 happened it was so devastating. It made you want to turn and watch a cartoon. It was like, I need to laugh now, ok. I need to think about something light. That’s something I totally can understand. There’s probably a direct connection to why things have gotten this out of control.

PR.com: For emotional and mental health, comedy can be pretty important. If need that outlet in the world.

Chelsea Handler: I really like laughing. I love everyday going to work to make fun of situations that are stupid. It brings me a lot of joy. People who have a great sense of humor when it comes to themselves, those are the people that you always don’t go after. That’s a very interesting dynamic I think.

PR.com: The format from your original E! Show, what happened to that? How did Chelsea Lately get morphed from the old show The Chelsea Handler Show?

Chelsea Handler: E! Network wanted to have elements from that show. However they wanted to have something where we could provide entertainment news as well as a comedy show also where we could talk about current day stuff. With the old show with all of the field segments it made it impossible for doing that on some sort of daily basis. We kept parts I liked from the old show and made it into a daily show. The show now is easier to do. It’s also has a lot faster pace.

PR.com: Is the new show, Chelsea Lately creatively more what you like to do than the old show?

Chelsea Handler: The other show I did have a great time doing it. However the new show is a lot more me. I can be myself on this show.

PR.com: Why did you decide to open up your life and be so candid about everything in “My Horizontal Life,” your first book? Last night I read it. It was hysterical. I just couldn’t believe though how candid you decided to be. What was the reason you decided putting everything out there, about using drugs, drinking and your sex life?

Chelsea Handler: I just felt it wasn’t a big deal really once you bury the lead. It’s important I think to be honest in terms of who you are. I think it’s better being honest than dishonest. So many girls lie. They say things like I wouldn’t ever do that. They say on my first date I wouldn’t ever sleep with a man. Come to find out they’ve slept with the whole baseball team. I mean just be honest about things. It’s really not a big deal. All it is about is having fun and having sex in your twenties. The reason I wrote it was because I was sick and tired of people pretending always that they don’t do these things. There’s lots of girls I’m sure who aren’t like I was while in my twenties that is in the book. I think though if you have some kind of sense of humor in terms of yourself that it’s a lot more engaging and endearing than someone who isn’t. All I did was hope for the best and put it out there.

PR.com: I just you don’t have any skeletons in the closet anyway!

Chelsea Handler: Yes, that’s right. No one ever can say to me, hey you never told me that. Um, yes I did. It’s all there.

PR.com (laughing): What is this love affair you have with vodka? The second book of your is “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Tell me what is so great in terms of vodka. Every cocktail mentioned in the book had some vodka in the drink.

Chelsea Handler: Vodka, I love it. Vodka and I have a very good relationship together. He has never once let me down. I haven’t ever let him down either. It won’t make you sick. With different alcohols I did have some bad experiences when I was young. Vodka’s a smooth, nice drink. Beer I don’t like. It’s too heavy for me. Vodka also has the least sugar. It’s a healthy treat also. (Laughter)

PR.com: That was a very good sales pitch. In your book you talked about how you don’t trust people that don’t drink. That’s me. (laughter) I am just a teetotaler. When it comes to alcohol I don’t like it. Just don’t like how it tastes. It doesn’t do anything for me really.

Chelsea Handler: Non-alcoholic stuff, I hate how it tastes. I don’t understand people drinking non-alcoholic beer? What’s the point of drinking non-alcoholic beer? Definitely alcohol is an acquired taste. If you are going to drink it, drink it for a good reason. (laughter). I do like how vodka tastes, but it took awhile. It wasn’t something I liked first thing.

PR.com: You probably, by the way, are the only person ever to have done drugs with their gynecologist. (The anecdote is chronicled in “My Horizontal Life,” Handler’s first book).

Chelsea Handler: Probably, yeah. That does sound about right. Once you write your book though, you’ll find out there’s lots of things that you’re not the only one to have done. Lots of people will come out of their closet. They say, oh gosh, you know I did that exact same thing. It does happen.

PR.com: After you book came out did you get crazy fan mail or emails?

Chelsea Handler: Of course. I still do. Lots of people all the time come up and say to me, I read the book. You know I did those exact same things. My story’s even crazier than your is. Let me tell you my story.

PR.com: Are there any celebrities that are pissed off, you know because of how candid you are on your show. When you tell people the way it is? Have you heard of anyone want to kick your ass who is out there?

Chelsea Handler: Publicists sometimes will call to tell us, she’s making fun of one of our clients. Yeah, it does happen. Larry Birkhead (father of Dannielynn, daughter of Anna Nicole Smith) called and demanded that we apologize for making fun of Dannielynn. I said, we weren’t making fun of Dannielynn. What we were doing was making fun of you because you are parading her around and being such a ridiculous parent. There’s a big difference there. On the show I announced it. Hopefully we won’t hear anything from him ever again. So yeah, things happen.

PR.com: (laughter)

Chelsea Handler: You know I do try really hard to not be outright mean. I’m sure sometimes I am. If I make fun that Lance Armstrong has one unit, you know I don’t see how I could be the first one doing that. I don’t see why he would get upset over something like that.

PR.com: So who are the people you think deserve being targets?

Chelsea Handler: Britney, Lindsay, Paris. Except with Britney now it’s getting pretty sad, that story. Anymore it’s like don’t even bother. You are just hoping she will get better. Paris is pretty stupid. Lindsay too. Paris always is saying things you just have to say something about. She always sounds like an idiot. The story about Eddie Murphy and his wife I just love. The story was such a juicy one. There are lots of skeletons in the closet for him. You can just tell.

PR.com: So what’s happening with Ted Harbert? (E! Network’s CEO). When did you two start to date? How’s your relationship?

Chelsea Handler: Oh is it Valentine’s Day today? I need to get a card for him or something. We’ve dated for a year and a half. When it comes to dates he’s better than me. We are living together. We’re good. Probably we’ll date for quite a long time. He’s very sweet and does lots of things for me. I don’t think I could date anyone else. I don’t really know of anyone else who would be as nice to me as he is.

PR.com: So how did he go about approaching you? You were working at E! already.

Chelsea Handler: well we did already know each other because of the show. Back then I really didn’t know him all that well. He would be around sometimes. He’s the network’s president, so really you don’t get to know him. It’s like, here the president comes. Try to not say the wrong thing. At the wrap party for our first show was when he asked if I wanted to sometime go out for a drink. I asked him, with who. He said, with me. So I thought, ok I guess he is flirting with me. I probably laughed then. I got really nervous and was acting like I was in third grade. We ended up going out for a drink. Ever since I think we’ve been drinking together. (laughter)

PR.com: Do people at the E! offices get intimidated by you, knowing you’re the girlfriend of the boss?

Chelsea Handler: Luckily, that’s not where I work. I don’t know what they think. Some people I’m sure hate that. Whatever. Really I don’t concern myself with things like that. I wouldn’t ever behave like that and it’s totally not the kind of person I am.

PR.com: So what about this phenomenon of people being famous for being someone famous?

Chelsea Handler: I think it’s really gross. It’s like a type of double edge sword. Look at Paris Hilton. Being famous is why she is famous. She tries proving she can do other things that she can’t. Her movie sucks, her perfumes are terrible, the shoe business of hers is stupid. So it’s like, just go back to what you were before. Being famous for absolutely nothing. Because then people will attack her because she doesn’t do anything. The people who don’t really want to be someone famous are a lot more interesting. Those people I find are a lot more dynamic and compelling.

PR.com: What about “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” your new book coming out. Tell me about that.

Chelsea Handler: The book is a bunch of childhood true stories. There’s more in there about my childhood and family than there was in my first book. There aren’t any of my one night stands in there really. There’s a few dating stories in there that are funny. One is about dating someone with red hair. You shouldn’t do that obviously unless you don’t start to get nauseous whenever you see red pubic hair. Another story talks about how I opened up a babysitting ring of my own at the age of twelve. I had five older siblings, so my parents couldn’t save any money for my college. I decided I would open a babysitting ring up at the age of twelve. I wound up babysitting fourteen and fifteen year old kids.